Learning to Love the Cardinal


Can we talk about something weird?  I mean really weird?  Something that disturbs me on a deep level?

My school’s mascot.  It’s a growling cardinal.  And that weirds me out.

I’m probably overthinking it, but the only thing I see whenver a cardinal lands outside my window now are disturbing teeth.  On a bird.  Please tell me this freaks someone else out.

When I found out I was accepted, after the obligatory jumping around, disturbing my easily shell shocked horse, and generally causing hell, I sat down to my computer to see if I could find a sweatshirt or something.  Because everyone has those thoughts when something important happens, to immortalize that occasion with a $30 sweatshirt.  Now I am not a big “shopper.”  Nor am I a sports fan, so I’ve never had a reason to look at college merch.  As I was hopping around the internet, I started to notice a pattern.  There was some weird, messed up stuff out.  Below, fair reader, I have comprised a list of some of the odd things I found, complete with snide comments.  


The Cardinal Mobile. I may have to have children just to use that.

I’m really not entirely sure what that is.  Fundex.  That’s fun to say.  Fundex.

Because when I think UofL, I think of spicy cardinal mustard.

Hood ornament.

*wants it*

The cardinal energy drink.  I don’t know why, but they went there.

A cookbook? Really. How about a pop-up kids book featuring the man-eating cardinal?

Why? I mean really, why?

College-themed lip balm. For when you’ve taken your fandom just a bit too far.

Where would the world be without fuzzy dice?

Don’t forget your toothbrush.  No, I couldn’t think of a better joke.

Cardinal cuff links. Srsly.

Alright, I give, it’s kinda cute.

This one has a built in joke.

UofL, a peaceful group of bird people. We promise. No threat here.

And finally, for your dose of sexism.

In short, people, there is an awful lot of weird crap out there.  And I will find more over time, probably.  But for now, this is the list.  If you’re a fan of any other school, I’m sure these all come in your flavor.  I’d love to see in-action pics of all this stuff!


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